What a blessed time for audiences.
It seems hard to fathom now, but only a few years ago the concept of “celebrity karaoke” didn’t even exist. If it did, it was behind closed doors, probably made entirely of velvet. Then one day the patron saint of celebrity karaoke Jimmy Fallon came down and granted this new form of comedy entertainment upon the masses and everything changed. Now we have celebrity karaoke in several different flavors: in a car with James Corden, as a separate TV show hosted by LL Cool J, a rock’n’roll version on Comedy Central, and that’s just what we have now. Who knows what basic cable will bring us in the next three, six, even nine months?
Imagine what the future holds for celebrity karaoke comedy. This is only the beginning of post-punchline comedy. It’s only going to get bigger, celebritier, and karaokier going forward.
Hollywood, I have some pitches.
This one seems obvious, right? That’s because it’s a great idea. This is a lay-up and a dunk in one.
Imagine John Leguizamo floating around singing “Space Oddity”—well, not singing, it’s karaoke, but still giving a respectably spirited performance. It would be logistically difficult and unnecessarily expensive but the viral success and numbers on YouTube will make everything right in the end.
Mo Rocca would host. He’d look great in a space suit.
Two celebrities enter a hedge maze on opposite sides and the only way they can find each other is by trading lines in duet songs. Imagine John Cena trying to find Channing Tatum while they sing “Islands In The Stream” by Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. If that’s not captivating content, baby, I don’t know what is!
Hosted by Mo Rocca, obviously.
If Fallon or Corden or Cool J think they’re going to win with high energy, well, I say the only way to top that is to fight fire with drugs. Specifically cocaine.
Between big-energy performances by, say, Jonah Hill and Mila Kunis, we’d also see our beloved entertainers pace the stage long after the song ends and explain in excruciating detail exactly why that song is so pleasurable, why karaoke is fun, and their top 10 ideas for what they’d do if they were in charge of the movie business.
I’m thinking Mo Rocca for host.
Some celebrities are dogs. Why shouldn’t they get to do karaoke? There’s no good reason. Just play the song and put the dog on stage. What are we going to do, not make a hit television show now that we already have the perfect idea?
Celebrity dogs are not like usual dogs. They’re very well trained. The dog from The Artist could be on every episode and we’d all love it. He might have to be because I can’t think of any other dogs. The dog from The Artist is good enough.
I don’t care who hosts this. No Mo, though. That guy hasn’t returned any of my favors.
Some celebrities are in prison. Why? Well, it’s different for each one. OJ Simpson is in prison for burglary with a wink-wink that it’s actually for double homicide. Phil Spector is more plainly in jail for murder. Still, both are solid song-and-dance men and could be ratings bonanzas for this great show you could potentially pick up for your network, Dear Hollywood Exec!
Let me anticipate and address any complaints about “poor taste” or “shamelessness” ahead of time with: you know we’re talking about celebrity karaoke, right? We’re already at rock bottom, buddy.
Mo Rocca can host this one, but only if we leave him in jail after we wrap.
I’ve pitched you some high-concept ones, so here’s one a little more scalable in terms of budget: we don’t bring in any actual celebrities. What? But how? It’s easy: we just bring in people to impersonate the celebrities. And by “people” I mean Mo Rocca. To be very clear, I’m saying we force Mo Rocca to impersonate every celebrity doing karaoke.
Mo Rocca doesn’t necessarily look like many other celebrities, but that’s why our most important hire will need to be Robert M. Rey, M.D., a prominent plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills. He can turn Mo into anyone we need him to be.
The fact is, audiences don’t care if it’s the real celebrity or not. They just need it to look close enough. With Dr. Rey’s help and Mo’s changeable features, I think we have a television hit the whole family will share on Facebook.
Follow Grant on Twitter @grantpa,