This Post-9/11 Seinfeld Script is Dark and Hilarious

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Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer may have been off the air for more than three years when the terrorist attack of Sept. 11, 2001 threw New York (and the United States) into utter turmoil, but one comedy writer just had to know how the gang would have reacted. Billy Domineau, a freelance contributor to SNL’s Weekend Update, wrote a 44-page Seinfeld spec script and tweeted it out to the world yesterday. If you think it’s insensitive, or you’re worried that you’d be insensitive for reading it, or whatever, just read it. It’s a little dark (to state the obvious), but you will probably laugh out loud. Domineau totally nails everything about the show about nothing.

The episode, titled “The Twin Towers,” follows each of the four stars’ own struggles with the tragedy, and somehow ties them all together perfectly in the end, per any actual episode of Seinfeld ever. The George we all know and love— “Neurotic George”— finds himself confused with a man who saved a bunch of people from one of the towers and takes full advantage of being a “hero.” Jerry freaks out over the inescapable dust now covering the city. Elaine tries to break up with a boyfriend who is a recovering survivor (also saved by George’s doppleganger). Kramer tries to file a victim’s claim to replace the boxcutter he lent Mohamed Atta, which the terrorist used to slit the pilots’ throats. Everything converges when George is the guest of honor at a banquet for survivors and heroes.

The Comic’s Comic pounced on Domineau for an interview, and he explains, “I was helping someone write a sketch a few months back and told them theirs needed to be an exercise in bad taste. ‘Like imagine if there was a 9/11 episode of Seinfeld ... wait a minute.’” Read the entire episode here.