Listen to an Exclusive Clip from The Onion's New True-Crime Podcast, "A Very Fatal Murder"

Comedy Audio The Onion
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On Monday The Onion, ClickHole's sister site, will release its very first podcast, "A Very Fatal Murder." Hosted (allegedly) by the Onion Public Radio's David Pascall, "A Very Fatal Murder" is a true-crime series investigating the horrific murder of--okay, look, there's just no sense in me trying to pithily paraphrase a press release by the freakin' Onion. Here's a quote:

"Hayley Price of Bluff Springs, Nebraska was a typical 17-year old-with big dreams and very clear skin. She was a high achiever. A prom queen. An animal lover. A doting girlfriend. A Libra. But one chilly Thursday morning in May, Hayley Price was found on the floor of the local bottle cap factory where her father worked. What’s more, she was dead."

The podcast's six episodes will burst into reality vis-á-vis your favorite podcasting platform on Monday, three days from today, Friday. But! We have an exclusive clip from the premiere right here, right now, and it's good as hell. It clocks in at just over five minutes, more than six times the trailer on Apple Podcasts and twice the length of the average exclusive clip. Wow! Please enjoy, and check out the rest of the series on Monday.

Seth Simons is Paste’s assistant comedy editor. Follow him on Twitter.