“Sheet caking is a grassroots movement,” Tina Fey says as she devours her way through an American flag cake on the latest weekday episode of Weekend Update. Like many Americans, Fey has no time for white nationalists and feels powerless after the events in Charlottesville, the location of her alma mater. She let everyone in on one of the ways she’s been trying to make a difference, which is furiously eating an entire sheet cake.
Though we can’t attest to its effectiveness in dismantling white supremacy, it’s certainly therapeutic. “I’m just one person. What can I do?” Fey asks. “Well, I would urge people this Saturday, instead of participating in the screaming matches and potential violence, find a local business you support. Maybe a Jewish run bakery or an African-American run bakery, order a cake with the American flag on it, like this one, and just eat it, Colin.”
When naïve Weekend Update co-host Colin Jost asks how sheet cake eating will help, Fey so beautifully explains, “Love is love.” She also let viewers in on a little secret: You can yell into the sheet cake.
“Next time, when you see a bunch of white boys in Polo shirts screaming about ‘taking our country back,’ and you wanna scream, ‘It’s not our country. We stole it from the Native Americans, and when they have a peaceful protest at Standing Rock, we shoot at them with rubber bullets. But we let you chinless turds march through the streets with semi-automatic weapons,’” Fey explains with the frustration of someone who wants to dropkick a KKK member. “And when you wanna yell that, don’t yell it at the Klan, Colin. Yell it into the cake.”
As much as Fey wants a bunch of New York City drag queens to kick the “ham salad” out of the neo-Nazis gathering in the city on Saturday, she also doesn’t want anyone else to get hurt. Thus, eating an entire sheet cake seems like the next logical step if you’re not involved in counter protests. “I really wanna encourage all good, sane Americans to treat these rallies this weekend like the opening of a thoughtful movie with two female leads: Don’t show up. Let these morons scream into the empty air.”
While they scream into the empty air, you can scream into your sheet cake. It’s really a two-birds-with-one-stone situation.
Watch Tina Fey eat her feelings above.