We’re taking a quick break from writing about anything useful or significant to quickly whip up another one of these Twitter posts because Sweet Baby Jesus that man Donald Trump just did another goddamned ridiculous bit of business that DEMANDS to be made fun of, and pronto. We are fully aware that this latest absurdity is an entirely calculated attempt at changing the conversation—that somebody at the White House was like “just let Trump speak unfiltered for like two minutes and he’ll say something so idiotic that everybody will stop fixating on this child detention stuff”—and that putting together a gallery like this might, in some minor way, assist with that sleight of hand. And yes, we don’t like the thought of that.
But still. We’re dealing with something entirely unprecedented here. We’re dealing with:
We have a president who went on TV to say that he’s creating a new branch of the military, and that that branch’s name is going to be SPACE FORCE, and that this is actually still real life somehow and not a Z-grade Star Wars knockoff or poorly translated Japanese videogame that we all got sucked into. Okay, he didn’t say that last part, but even somebody as dense as Trump probably realized EVERYBODY was thinking that as he rambled on about the space force.
My head’s been out of the news and buried deep in silly E3 videogame business this past week, so let’s just recap everything that’s happening, if only for my own benefit. America is forcibly breaking up families at the border, throwing children as young as 53 weeks into detention centers that are less humane than many high class dog boarding places. Puerto Rico, a part of the US populated by full US citizens, has been left almost completely to its own devices in the wake of a devastating hurricane that left thousands more dead than originally reported. Trump has alienated and antagonized our closest allies while making concessions to North Korea with almost nothing guaranteed in return. Trump’s openly praised Kim Jong Un’s despotic rule, saying that he wished America treated him the way North Korea treats the tyrant Un. The social safety net that’s protected Americans for the last 80 years is in greater danger of collapse than ever before. Far right hate groups and extremists have been emboldened and essentially encouraged by an administration that refuses to appropriately criticize them. The world is a far less stable place than it was just 20 months ago, and more people seem more stressed out than ever before, and there’s almost no light or hope to go around for those who aren’t on Trump’s side. And what’s the president’s answer to all this?
We know this isn’t the first time Trump’s used the words “Space Force.” It’s way more official today than it was in the past, though. And the timing is CLEARLY to get people to talk less about poor children being torn away from their families and thrown into fenced-in cages in abandoned Wal-Marts, and more about that silly old goof Trump and his spaceman army. So look, it’s all well and good to take a few moments to snicker and guffaw at any kind of government policy that sounds like the name of a 1970s pinball machine, but don’t forget what’s actually important right now. Stay vigilant, and not just for good tweets.