For most folks, craft beer is all about celebration—a great industry filled with (mostly) earnest people and all that really good beer. But as any beer lover can attest, tossing one back isn’t just about picking out discrete hop varietals or wild yeast. It’s also about chilling out and forgetting some of the strife and stresses of life. As its name implies, Spiteful Brewing understands this; The brewery’s name grew out an acknowledgment of the many things in life leave us spiteful, and the beer helps reduce some of that spitefulness. The beer labels, however, go the other direction—in the best of ways. The hand-drawn illustrations feel inspired by “Beavis and Butthead”-era Mike Judge, with a sly sense of humor that has raised a few eyebrows (like their new “Dumb Donald Double IPA,” which includes a figure that bears more than a passing resemblance to our new president) and inspired more than a few high fives. After all, the brewery loves to call out some things that drive ‘em crazy. Who can’t relate to I Hate My Boss Coffee Stout? Here’s a handful of the best from this growing Chicago brewery.
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Definitely not fully evolved.
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Selfies Are for Wieners Double IPA
For anyone who's traveled to any overlook in the era of the selfies, this four-step instruction is just…perfect.
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God Damn Pirate Pigeon Peanut Butter Porter
Part of an ongoing God Damn the Pigeon series, this iteration comes with a bird that has an eye patch and two wooden legs, apparently perching on Chicago's Tribute Tower before bombing the unsuspected walking or driving below.
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This one wears its Mike Judge influence on its sleeve; the guy riding that ostrich sure looks familiar, though the label says he's Grimey, delivering packages by day at night and delivering justice from his reliable steed in his spare time.
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Pompous Pete Guava Double IPA
Whether at work or the nearest craft beer bar, pompousness is never far away in this modern world. This double IPA uses guava to tempt Pete to step down from his holier-than-though perch and enjoy the guava. Or to just get sucker-punched by the beer's 9.2% ABV.
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Water Cooler Dictator Double IPA
In the ever-evolving landscape of must-watch TV, encountering the pontificating know-it-all theorizer cannot be avoided. Think of this bold 9.1% ABV DIPA as a way to steel your reserves when all you want is some water.
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Enraged Eric Double IPA
Spiteful describes Enraged Eric as "a bully on steroids"—which, sadly, sounds like a solid descriptor for large, growing part of the U.S. population. This DIPA is brewed with lactose, paired with fistfuls of hops—an effort to appeal to his base desires and calm him the F down.
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Designed in the same spirit as Selfies are for Wieners, Spiteful delivers another four-step gospel that concludes one truth that we should all remember in this age of Insta-everything: "Accept you're an idiot. Nobody cares."