You know, for a series based around rogue tornadoes filled with sharks, the arrival of a new Sharknado film every summer on SyFy has become surprisingly dependable. Since the first film became an absolute Twitter sensation in the summer of 2013, we have been graced with three sequels: Sharknado 2: The Second One, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens. Now strap yourself in for the latest title announced this afternoon by SyFy and The Asylum, Sharknado 5: Global Swarming. Tagline: “Make America Bait Again.” Nice work, fellas. Very pertinent. It premieres on SyFy Sunday, August 6 at 8/7c and will air in more than 100 countries.
If you need to catch up on the previous films in this series, have no fear: Paste has actually reviewed every single one of them, because we are not normal people. Hell, we even interviewed director Anthony C. Ferrante one time. That’s the depth of our shark mania.
Here’s the official synopsis of your fifth film in this ever-so-vital series:
In SHARKNADO 5: GLOBAL SWARMING, the mission gets personal for Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering) and his bionic wife, April (Tara Reid) when their young son gets trapped in a traveling ‘nado and transported all over the world. From London to Rio, Tokyo, Rome, Amsterdam and beyond, our globetrotting heroes will seek assistance from a highly-skilled squad of royals, scholars and Olympians, enlisting famous faces from news, entertainment, and sports in their most epic battle yet.
If only they were time-traveling, this premise would be half way to being the crossover between Sharknado and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. And speaking of: Time travel has to be next, right? It’s the obvious next step. Think of the possibilities! Sharknados in Elizabethan England. Sharknados vs. T-Rexes. Megalodon sharknados! Need we say more?
Also revealed is the full list of celebrity cameos that The Asylum were able to coax into appearing this time around. As in the past few films, it is a rather bizarre assemblage of former TV and film stars, athletes and newscasters. They include:
Fabio (Model) as the Pope
Tony Hawk (Professional skateboarder) as a masterful weapons operative strategist.
Clay Aiken (Musician) as Llewelyn, a cutting edge technology genius.
Olivia Newton-John (Musician) and daughter Chloe Lattanzi as Orion and Electra, two brilliant scientists who help defend Australia from a looming Sharknado.
Bret Michaels (Musician) as a visiting artist that gets trapped in the storm.
Margaret Cho (Comedian) as a fussy bride whose honeymoon is interrupted by sharks.
Charo (Musician, Comedian) as The Queen of England.
Gilbert Gottfried (Comedian) as storm chaser Ron McDonald.
“Today” hosts Al Roker, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb as themselves.
Olympic diving medalists Greg Louganis as Zico, a high-end art thief, and Tom Daley as himself.
Olympic freeskiing medalist Gus Kenworthy and NBC News investigative correspondent Jeff Rossen as themselves.
Porsha Williams (“The Real Housewives of Atlanta”) as Andromeda, an archeologist and member of the elite “Sharknado Sisterhood”.
Tiffany “New York” Pollard (“Flavor of Love”) as Vega, a Brazilian black market artifacts dealer.
Chris Kattan (“Saturday Night Live”) as The Prime Minister of England.
Cat Greenleaf (“Talk Stoop”) and Dan Fogler (“Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”) as themselves.
Ross Mullan (“Game of Thrones” White Walker) as Dr. Wobbegon, a scientist who has made breakthroughs in meteorological studies to track Sharknado storms.
That’s right, folks. Fabio as the freakin’ POPE.
Also reprising their roles from previous installments are Cassie Scerbo, Masiela Lusha and Cody Linley. Sharknado 5: Global Swarming, a production of The Asylum, is directed by Anthony C. Ferrante based on an original screenplay by Scotty Mullen.