After discovering what Justin Bieber wrote on Anne Frank’s guestbook, Paste found* some other guestbooks at historical sites that the Biebs signed.
“Dear Plymouth Rock, you are where the first Americans set foot in America. I first rocked on YouTube. All great things start somewhere. Respect.”
“Mr. Gandhi! U fought 4 peace & love with non-violent resistance. It’s like when I don’t hit someone but spit on ‘em instead. Namaste a Belieber.”
“Yo, FDR, you were a great president, and yer New Deal was 4 New Real! I know my music woulda got u outta that wheelchair 2 shake that Roos-e-booty! Respect!”
“Prez Nixon. People talked mad shit about u (can I write that? 2 late!! :P!!). But for real, you kept on, keeping on. Much love. U would have been a belieber!”
“Yo, Israel, this Wailing Wall is crazy inspiring. Here are some words that mean a lot to me. ‘Baby, baby, baby…oh!!’”
“Prez McKinley, you lost your life in a duel. Feels like when I duel my man J-Tims on the charts. Peace.”
“Mr. Webster, your dictionary is mad underrated. Words = lyrics. I also
invented a word – Belieber. Respect!”
“Mrs. Prime Minister. Your steady hand led England thru war and difficult times.
I don’t get why people in your country like Mumford and Sons so much, but u r
“Real dope seeing the Constitution up close. Didn’t know I couldn’t bring my Chipotle burrito into the room tho. Let’s fight for an amendment to change that punk ass rule!!!”
“Neil Armstrong, you were the first man to walk on the moon. I won a bunch of moon men MTV Video Music Awards which is basically the same thing as what you did. One small step for man, one giant step for Beliebers…”
*And by found, we mean made up.
Matt Price is a writer for the Emmy-winning “Regular Show” on Cartoon Network and has a music-comedy podcast called Whale Cave.