I smell a trend: quarantine horniness. Maybe it started with Normal People, or maybe it started the very first week of collective isolation when we were all forced indoors away from all the sensory pleasure offered by the outside world. In either case, quarantine horniness (quar-horn for short?) is an unstoppable force now, and the latest star to wield its mighty power is Harry Styles.
The former One Direction frontman shared the beachside music video for his song “Watermelon Sugar” (from last year’s Fine Line) on Monday morning, and it’s a bonanza of sexually suggestive images, from slurps of the titular juicy fruit to the piles of smiling women to Styles pointing his lips skyward and licking them at no one in particular. However, this sugary summer masterpiece is in no way sexually explicit. Yet, it’s more lewd than nudity because it’s fruit, we’re talking about here—a most innocent food! And the best part is Harry’s being entirely upfront about his intentions for the video: The opening credits proclaim, “This video is dedicated to touching.” Sigh, remember “touching”? Just watch for yourself:
Truly nothing in this world sounds as scandalously enticing as frolicking through a beach party hosted by a horn-dog Harry Styles, but since that is impossible for a number of reasons, the pure delight of watching this video will have to suffice. Behold, a list of all the sweatiest, thirstiest, most scream-worthy moments in a video full of them (Editor’s note: While this video contains no graphic imagery, some frames still felt too dirty to screencap!).
Here, Harry is quite literally slurping up some rays, and we absolutely love this for him.
Harry passionately eating watermelon
Throughout the video, Harry snacks on this favorite summertime fruit with a ferocity that is rarely seen in on-screen food consumption. I let out a scream every. single. time!
“Lights Up” vibes
If you remember the video for another Fine Line single, “Lights Up,” the imagery in “Watermelon Sugar” may seem familiar. All of these orgy-like snapshots of Styles surrounded by bodies (in the case of “Lights Up”—bodies of all genders) have helped to solidify him as a true 21st century sex symbol. Here, however, there’s just more fruit involved—and we’re not complaining.
All the lounging
Harry Styles is a true king of comfort in this video as he sprawls out on a rainbow of beach towels and gazes longingly past the rind of a bright-green melon. We can’t know for sure what he’s thinking about, but it would seem that he’s fantasizing about a hook-up on the produce aisle.
And after all that, Harry leaves us with a “Happy Summer” and farewell. Maybe summer 2020 won’t be filled with beach block parties à la this “Watermelon Sugar” fiesta or any flings that aren’t entirely virtual, but at least we can live vicariously through this video. Today wasn’t just another Monday in quar—it was another horny Monday in quar.
“Watermelon Sugar” Video Art:
Ellen Johnson is an associate music editor, writer, playlist maker, coffee drinker and pop culture enthusiast at Paste. She occasionally moonlights as a film fan on Letterboxd. You can find her yapping about all the things on Twitter @ellen_a_johnson.