EPL Roundup: "Manchester United's Swagger" Edition

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This weekend in the Premier League was a doozy. The title race is kindasortamaybe over while the Top 4 and relegation fights are heating up, we quite possibly saw the goal of the season, and Wayne Rooney coulda been a contendah. If you missed anything this weekend, don’t worry— we’ll bring you up to speed.

1. End of the title race, beginning of the relegation battle

The pundits on TV will tell you that Manchester City lost this game. They’re lying to you. Burnley won this game. Keeping a clean sheet and scoring a goal against the defending champions ain’t easy, and Burnley absolutely deserve all three points for pulling it off. While the title race isn’t technically over, it definitely feels over, and if City can’t do the business against relegation bait they probably don’t deserve to keep the trophy anyway. Meanwhile, Burnley got a massive boost in their fight to stay up. With the Clarets only one point from safety with nine games to go, they’ve got as good as chance as any of the other teams at that end of the table.

2. Gus Poyet’s about to get fired

Shipping four goals at home in the first half is definitely not a good look. But doing that against Aston Villa—a team that went entire calendar months without scoring a goal this season—is a cry for help. And as seen in the GIF above, the fans have had enough. Thousands poured out of the Stadium of Light before and during the halftime break, and some were so incensed that they tried to confront the technical staff. After the game, Gus Poyet was at a loss for words. I’m just saying, don’t be surprised if next week we’re talking about the new caretaker manager.

3. Manchester United’s got their swagger back

Tottenham have been playing great football lately. Bolstered by breakout star Harry Kane up top, this is a team that looks like is finally coming together. Even when they’ve lost in recent months, they’ve tended to go down swinging (as they did at Liverpool last month). So for United to completely put this Spurs team away with a comfortable 3-0 win tells you how formidable they’ve managed to become. After spending much of the season playing dreadful, middling football, this is a team that is firmly in the Top 4 chase— whether you like it or not.

4. Southampton aren’t going to go down quietly

Getting a result at Stamford Bridge is never easy. But with the few weeks Chelsea have had, this was as good a time as any to try. With Southampton’s Top 4 hopes slipping away, they needed to get something out of this match. They bounced back from Diego Costa’s opening goal to win a penalty, which Dusan Tadic converted like a rock star. The Saints then held firm for 70 minutes against wave after wave of Chelsea attacks— which is probably enough to age anyone a few years. For their part, the Blues tallied one more point in a title march that is looking increasingly inevitable.

5. Matt Phillips may have scored the goal of the season

QPR had another awful weekend in an increasingly dismal season. Which makes this amazing thing that Matt Phillips did even more meaningful. Down 3-0 in the 83rd minute away at Crystal Palace, Phillips collected the ball from 40 yards out. And then he did that. The goal did nothing for the result, and it’s looking more and more of a given that QPR are going back down in May. But at least they’ll have this incredible goal. Holy cow.

BONUS: Wayne Rooney hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest

Lie la lie, lie la la la lie lie…

Happy Monday!


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