Paste’s Best of 2012 series continues through Dec. 31 and is made possible by our friends at Tretorn.
There are different kinds of exceptional when it comes to Twitter, from the perfectly crafted zingers of Tim Siedell to Arjun Basu’s short stories that says way more than 140 characters should be able to say. The comedians, actors, musicians and others on this list have mastered the art of brevity. The fake accounts are the rare ones who manage to go deeper than the simple joke of their existence. Some, like TweenHobo and NotTildaSwinton have become characters in their own right. And HumbleBrag has identified one of the medium’s most satire-worthy trends (and turned it into a book deal). Here are our 75 favorite Twitter Accounts of 2012.
75. Kumail Nanjiani – @kumailn
. Prismo on Adventure Time. Pindar on Franklin & Bash. Co-host of gaming podcast The Indoor Kids on Nerdist network. Followers:
74k Best Recent Tweet:
“Why are there so many songs about rainbows?” Are there? I can think of two. And you’re one of them. Runner-Up:
“Spinning pinwheel? Have you tried giant eagles?” – JRR Tolkien troubleshooting at the mac genius bar
There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your fucking life. Followers:
418k Best Recent Tweet:
Romney: I’m kind of stoked about the end of the world just to see what Google does with its home page. Runner-Up:
Unlike in Egypt, Americans use Facebook mainly to protest changes in Facebook.
New special Whiskey Icarus debuts Saturday, November 24th on Comedy Central Followers:
52k Best Recent Tweet:
Got my hair cut for Conan tonight. Can only describe the style as “Trish’s last day at Supercuts.” Runner-Up:
A mohawk glued to a motorcycle helmet means “Do not resuscitate,” right?
I give medicinal cocaine to baby animals Followers:
432k Best Recent Tweet:
Warning to all CGI Golden Eagles: if you try to snatch my CGI baby, I will fucking delete you.
*Runner-Up:** see a lot of commercials about people getting engaged right now but none about just getting under the shirt.
Jean-Ralphio on Parks and Rec, Clyde Oberholt on House of Lies, Randy on Randy Cunningham, Performer at the UCB Theatre, Calvin and Hobbes/Simpsons enthusiast. Followers:
161k Best Recent Tweet:
“Worst part about Hostess going out of business is now there’s nothing to eat to cope with Hostess going out of business. Runner-Up:
The M in MTV stands for Mreality shows.
Oscar loser, singer/songwriter, wanna-be musical writer. Followers:
86k Best Recent Tweet:
Just started a new song. So far there’s a mention of Milwaukee’s statue of the Fonz in it. That probably won’t stay. #BronzFonz Runner-Up:
We must commence this campaign to get @taylorswift13 to get @scharpling to direct her next video with @jonwurster as her love interest.
Goal: Funny and/or interesting. Partisan Democrat. Not into arguing. Complaints? Consult Fine Print: http://j.mp/pmcrules . Followers:
108k Best Recent Tweet:
NRA: If Ralphie wasn’t armed, Black Bart would be over the fence and in the house. Runner-Up:
Let’s get background checks and longer waits for Santa suits, too. I don’t like what I’m seeing out there.
18k Best Recent Tweet:
I call my penis “Rick Moranis” because it’s short and hasn’t been in anything for quite a while. Runner-Up:
Seth Myers always looks like he put a booger in your food when you weren’t looking and is waiting for you to take a bite. #121212Concert
I am an actor and a writer and I co-created SoulPancake and my son, Walter. Followers:
3.4 million Best Recent Tweet:
I make my real life friends send me friend requests by mail. Runner-Up:
Every year it’s the same headline: “WORLDS OLDEST PERSON DEAD AT 115 YRS”. I’m curious – Who keeps killing the worlds oldest person!?
66. Neil Patrick Harris – @ActuallyNPH
I act some. Dig variety acts, Pixar, puppets, theme parks and great meals. Followers:
4.9m Best Recent Tweet:
Ah, the holidays. I’m trimming the tree, decorating the house, and marveling at how f’ing glitter manages to f’ing get f’ing everywhere! Runner-Up:
New HIMYM tonight. Make sure to watch: we are going to reveal the mother! Ok, that’s a lie. But it’ll still be good comedy shenanigans!
Actress, New Media Geek, Gamer, Misanthrope. I like to keep my Tweets real and not waste people’s time. Followers:
2 million Best Recent Tweet:
Giving edit notes on Christmas Flog where I play a game with my brother. Just typed this note: “Cut the “laying pipe in Mrs. Claus” line. Runner-Up:
Well, that was a lovely 3 1/2 hour tour of “The Best of LA Traffic”. I think only riding a dragon in Skyrim
will heal this scarring wound.
Chanteuse québécoise. Followers:
67k Best Recent Tweet:
We’re Chalfway through Chanukkah. Runner-Up:
I’d probably get a higher quality workout if I listened to something other than Johnny Cash
’s cover of “Hurt.”
your favorite twitterer’s favorite music snob. Followers:
2.3 million Best Recent Tweet:
unless your last name is Kardashian, @instagram aint even thinking bout you http://on.mash.to/VPyQXq but yall can relax now. Runner-Up:
the lord hath heard my cry: The Entire FREAKS & GEEKS reunion: http://vnty.fr/120e9gw
62. Lauren Ashley Bishop – @sbellelauren
i’m a comedian from arkansas. i live in LA. but i comede all over. witstream.com please & thank you Followers:
33k Best Recent Tweet:
i dress up as the easter bunny and beat up mall santas Runner-Up:
waitress: “do you have everything you need?” me: “yeah…. & DIM SUM” – a pun i’m going to try not to make at brunch today but will fail
DRUNK HULK DRINK SO YOU NO HAS TO! WRITE DRUNK HULK! WWW.DRUNKHULK.COM! Followers:
180k Best Recent Tweet:
DRUNK HULK GOING BE SO MAD! WHEN INSTAGRAM SELL PICTURE OF DRUNK HULK FEET ON BEACH! AS IF IT 1977! FOR MILLION DOLLAR! Runner-Up: PAUL MCCARTNEY
PLAY WITH DAVE GROHL! KRIST NOVOSELIC! FINALLY! DRUNK HULK TWO FAVORITE BAND UNITE! WINGS AND FOO FIGHTERS!
63k Best Recent Tweet:
I’m snuggling all you guys. Stop squirming.. Runner-Up:
I think if you WERE an Aussie and did an Outback Steak commercial you are hunted down and hanged for treason? It’s Australian law, right?
Author, writer, editor, Shorty Award winner (though I’m not that short), foodie, husband, dad. Creating Twisters, 140-character short stories. Followers:
141k Best Recent Tweet:
He used every word in his massive lexicon to describe the wine. And then he waited, anticipating her reaction. I’m more into beer, she said. Runner-Up:
I drove slowly. Others honked at me so I drove slower still. You are so passive aggressive, my wife said, squeezing her legs together harder
Comedian, actress, writer. Followers:
313k Best Recent Tweet:
Saying “Poop” & “Pee” is SO vulgar! I wish people would use polite terms like “Night Soil” & “Angel Discharge.” Runner-Up:
57. The Times Is On It – @NYTOnIt
Because sometimes stories in newspapers are just that
obvious. (This is a parody account clearly not associated with any newspaper.) Followers:
27k Best Recent Tweet:
GUYS, people are going to overshare their Thanksgivings on the Internet, and The Times is ON IT. http://nyti.ms/SfjwnC Runner-Up:
GUYS, Christmas shoppers really like to procrastinate, and The Times is ON IT. http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/17/procrastinating-holiday-shoppers-abound/
tv, radio host. comedy writer. improv & standup. staff writer for http://www.someecards.com. co-host of the morning after on http://hulu.com Followers:
7k Best Recent Tweet:
“Holy infant, so tender and mild.” Boy, the baby Jesus sure sounded delicious! Runner-Up:
Just released my Top 10 Spotify Songs of 2012 That Made Me Look Like A Total Pussy on Facebook
I vlog. I like funny. Followers:
146k Best Recent Tweet:
Are we sure Carly Rae Jepsen and Taylor Swift
aren’t Hannah Montana-ing us? Runner-Up:
Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris are getting married! Now THIS is the kind of marriage the Bible was talking about!
Writer: Family Guy
, Letterman, laundress. Followers:
22k Best Recent Tweet:
This is the longest Cialis ad ever. #1212concert Runner-Up:
I’d love to watch a Guy Fieri marathon because I figure he’d be dead by mile three.
My life is my art and therapy is my palette (JK, I make movies & shows. Like @tinyfurniture & @GirlsHBO) Followers:
503k Best Recent Tweet:
There is no envy like that of being at a crowded party and glimpsing the host’s off-limits bedroom. Runner-Up:
When I was little I used to get myself to bed by imagining a situation where someone said “fall asleep in five minutes or I’ll murder you.”
PARODY. Role-playing. Not affiliated with VP candidate Paul Ryan or actor Ryan Gosling
. Obviously. Followers:
69k Best Recent Tweet:
Hey girl, can I check my own box? Or will that make me go blind? Runner-Up:
Hey girl, who cares that Obama’s hanging out with Springsteen and Jay-Z
? I got to touch Meatloaf’s back fat.
COMEDIAN. Author I Can Barely Take Care of Myself. Chelsea Lately, After Lately, Drunk History
Tour schedule & book buy info below. Followers:
100k Best Recent Tweet:
I don’t get why everyone is so damn afraid of some Maya Angelou calendar. Runner-Up:
Knocked down today with a stomach thing – sleeping & vomiting. I read Hillary Clinton
has the same thing. Must be some VIP bug going around.