There's Now a Petition to Reveal the Walking Dead Character Negan Killed

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We get it: the season finale of The Walking Dead sucked. But after a certain point in the shitty-pop-culture-moment world, it’s time for us all to stop complaining and get on with our lives. That point can usually be defined by the appearance of a frivolous petition, and, whaddya know, just that has surfaced.

The petition, written by one Mason Cade Parker from New Zealand, demands either an inter-season interim episode or an R-rated webisode that “shows us the death in all it’s bloody glory,” either of which will suffice “as long as it’s released before May 30th.” First of all, that should read “all its bloody glory.” Though it’s admittedly a little bit prick-ish to call the petitioner out on grammar, this petition is irritating enough that we’re perfectly happy discrediting it on more than one level.

As of this writing, 1,696 supporters have signed, to whom we say: Jesus H. Christ, get over it, people! We’re upset, too, but we’ve got Game of Thrones coming up in just a couple weeks; it’s far more worthwhile to spend the intervening time getting pumped about that instead of stewing over The Walking Dead. Or, better yet, remember that patience used to be a prerequisite for watching television shows, and probably still should be. Lastly, there’s the fact that it’s a global net negative to devalue the worth of petitions that might actually effect positive change in the world by putting forth bullshit like this.

For instance, here’s a petition calling for two U.S. citizens to be freed from their torture and detainment in the United Arab Emirates. Here’s another, this one seeking to prevent Marlboro from marketing cigarettes to kids. There’s some cool stuff going on at if you look closely. But revealing Negan’s victim? Come on.